BREAKING: Shigeru Miyamoto’s New Job Revealed

A couple of days ago Wired reported that Shigeru Miyamato, legendary creator of Super Mario Bros., was retiring from Nintendo. Nintendo has since denied Wired‘s article, but I’m proud to report that Topless Robot has gotten the exclusive details on Miyamoto’s next job…

…running an elite crime-fighting squad consisting of Princess Peach, Zelda and Samus Aran. FYI, the video is a choose-your-own-ending, so make sure to select one of the characters at the end to see the conclusion (at least, one of the three conclusions). I’m not kidding when I say I would watch the shit out of a Nintendo-themed Charlie’s Angels knock-off. Or if ABC wants to try their 2011 Charlie’s Angels show again but put Minka Kelly in Samus’ zero suit, I’d be fine with that, too.