The Soul Still Burns, Itches, Needs Soothing Relief
Things I learned from this new Soul Calibur V game trailer:
? Much like the gameplay, the voice acting is getting more obnoxious with each game
? Bandai Namco does not have enough faith in its attorneys to call Xiba “Goku”
? Ghost pirate Cervantes has been resurrected, presumably so he can finally finish Don Quixote
? Apparently Lizard Man in an angel named Aeon now
? I hate Tekken‘s Yoshimitsu a lot less when he’s ripping off Skeletor
? I hate all the new characters
? I will probably be buying Soul Calibur V the week it comes out, despite every cell in my brain screaming that it’s going to be worse than the already mediocre Soul Calibur IV
God I hate being a nerd sometimes.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.